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6 Types of Lies Why We Lie
Lying is deeply embedded in our subconscious as a result of
evolution. This means that our
many ancestors who survived by lying (and doing deceptive things) passed on
stronger and stronger genes in each generation for this talent. Empathy—The Key to Lying
Lying is done through communication. As humans, we communicate in many
different ways, both verbally (talking, sounds) and non-verbally (facial and
body gestures). Another important
component of communication is the ability to empathize, or understand what a
person might be thinking or feeling.
Having empathy is necessary to lie, because you have to understand
another person's thoughts and feelings to be able to make them believe your
lie.
3 Revealing Facial Expression Clues that Identify Deceit or Lies
These facial expressions are triggered by emotion and are
involuntary. 1. Timing
If facial expressions are not in synch with what is being
said, a person might be hiding something or lying. For example, if the moment calls for a smile and the smile
is delayed or the timing is off. A
genuine smile will crest over their face like a wave. 2. Emotion and Facial
Expressions
When someone is lying, they will do one of three
things.
- Show emotion when they have none - Show no emotion (poker face) - Mask one emotion with another 3. Eyes and Upper Half vs.
Lower Half
The upper half of a persons face is a much more reliable
measure than the lower half. It generates
more involuntary clues and is extremely difficult for someone to
control.
Using smiling as an example, the most revealing clue if a
smile is genuine or manufactured is in the eyes. Look at the muscles that surround the eye socket. The
Zygomaticus major muscle
running from the cheekbone at an angle to the corner of the lips indicates a
sincere smile Although these are strong signs, you should always
look for other body language and voice tone signals.
There is no substitute for knowledge. Knowing how to
interpret lying
signals and how to apply the right techniques to confirm your suspicions will
amplify your success dramatically
Recognizing A Lie
How to Detect Lies
Watching facial expressions in order to determine whether a
person is lying might just save you from being a victim of fraud, or it could
help you figure out when somebody's being genuine. Jury analysts do this when assisting in jury selection. The police do this during an interrogation. You have to learn the little facial and
body
expressions that can help you distinguish a lie from the truth. When a person lies, his or her body may undergo physical
changes such as:
Although many of these general "indicators" have been
associated with lying, not all people who are lying exhibit them. Even more importantly, not all people
who exhibit them are telling lies. Movement: Less than Usual
Watch for physical rigidity. Except in cases where people are nervous or shy, jerky
movements and stiffness indicate dishonesty. Don't expect to see sincere "open hand over the
heart" gestures from them; people tend to gesticulate much less than usual
when they're stretching the truth.
As for facial expressions, if nothing but the mouth communicates
feeling, that feeling is probably being faked. The entire face should show true emotion - eyebrows and all. Contact: Hands and Faces
Beware the meaning of hand-to-face contact. Scratching, covering, or rubbing of the
eyes, ears, nose, and throat are telltale signs that someone is telling a
lie. Another popular pointer
claims that when people avoid eye contact, they are typically lying. On the other hand, those who stare into
your eyes and rarely blink could be trying to avoid that revealing lack of eye
contact. The bottom line: facial
expressions, gestures, and eye contact that don't seem natural probably aren't. Timing: Out of Tune
Noticing abnormal timing is a crucial part of lie
detection. When others' facial
expressions don't match their words or body language, they could very well be
deceiving others. Someone who
declares, "That was delicious!" with a blank expression, then follows
up with a smile, is not likely to be telling the truth. Physical and verbal communication
should always be in tune with each other.
That's not something easily forced by most people. Banter: Defensive or Offensive?
Generally, someone who is lying will get defensive (e.g. "Why are you asking me? Are you really accusing me of
lying?"). On the contrary, an
honest person will get offensive; more polite and playful (e.g. "I don't have a reason to lie to
you. Can you think of
one?"). Those on the
defensive often avoid answering questions by asking more questions, or by
implying their answers. When false
explanations are offered, they tend to include unnecessary details galore. Body language and speech patterns speak louder than
words. When people are lying,
their facial expressions and gestures expose the truth, but only to those who
know the signs of dishonesty: Personal Space
Gauge how close someone is to you. The closer they are, the warmer their opinions are of
you. The farther away that someone
is, the less they care. It is
worth noting that personal space is culturally fluid; be aware that what is
considered close in one country is far away in another. Watch Their Head Position
Overly tilted heads are potential signs of sympathy. Alternatively, the person is trying to
convince you of their honesty. Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. Take note if someone lowers their
head. If it is when he is
complimented, he may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the other
person, in disbelief, or thinking to himself. If it is after an explanation, then he may be unsure if what
he said was correct. It should be noted that some cultures see this as a sign of
respect. Cocked heads mean that they are confused or challenging you,
depending on eye, eyebrow, and mouth gestures. The Eyes Play A Very Important Part
Dilated pupils mean that the person is interested. Keep in mind, however, that alcohol
causes pupils to dilate, as does cocaine, amphetamines, MDMA and LSD. Don't mistake having a few drinks for
attraction. Looking to the side means that the person feels guilty. When you ask somebody where they were, look very carefully
at the way they look. If they look
to the right, they are recalling an event or a memory, meaning that they are
telling the truth. However, if
they look to the left, they are making something up (this is why people look to
the left when they are daydreaming, but to the right when they are
remembering). Especially if you
are interrogating, look out for people doing this when they try to give an
alibi. Look Into Their Eyes
Liars will consecutively look at you and look away a number
of times. You can actually learn
specifically how to
observe behavior to judge whether someone is lying. However, some liars will make more eye
contact than usual in an attempt to make you believe they are telling you the
truth. People who look away while supposedly listening to you are
thinking about something else.
This is why when you are talking to a group of people, if an item in
conversation strikes the one looking away, they will ask for you to repeat the
story. Some cultures believe that looking at someone in the eyes is
a sign of disrespect. Auditory learners may look from side-to-side and repeat
phrases in an effort to retain information. See if they're mirroring you. Mirroring is another common gesture. If someone mirrors, or mimics your
appearance, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you. Check Their Arms
People with crossed arms are closing themselves to social
influence. The worst thing that
you can do to people with crossed arms is to challenge them in one way or
another, no matter how they react.
This annoys them. Though
some people just cross their arms as a habit, it may indicate that the person
is (slightly) reserved, uncomfortable with their weight (therefore trying to
hide it), or just trying to hide something on their shirt. If someone rests their arms behind their neck, they are open
to what is being discussed and interested in listening more. They may be waiting to state their
opinion on the matter. Look at the location of their hands. If their hands are in their pockets,
then they are more relaxed and are more likely to be attracted to you. Be Aware of Nervous Gestures
If someone brushes their hair back with their fingers, their
thoughts about something conflict with yours. They might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be
pretty sure that they disagree with you. If they are playing or fiddling with their hair (a girl may
twirl a lock of her tresses around a finger), they are feeling self-conscious
and possibly uncomfortable. If someone is biting their lip, they are anticipating
something or holding back. If the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them
up onto their nose again, with a slight frown, that may also indicate they
disagree with what you are saying.
Look to make sure they push up their glasses with an intent, not
casually adjusting them. Look for
pushing on the rim with two fingers, or an extra motion of wiggling the side of
their glasses. The frown or raised
eyebrows should tip you off. Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at
understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. Watch Their Feet
A fast tapping, shifting of weight, or movement of the foot
will most often mean that the person is excited, nervous, scared, or
intimidated. Slowly shifting weight usually means that someone is
distracted, uncomfortable, or bored. Attitude: Sweet or Sour?
Liars often become ornery to drive away conflict. If accused, they may make accusations
of their own, sometimes changing the subject completely. One example of the attention diversion
method: "I did not steal your shirt, and I can't believe you called me a
bad name!" This statement
would take the attention off the accused thief, and place it on the accuser for
something entirely different: name-calling. Liars who get away with this are as crafty as they are
dishonest. What to Watch For
Here is what to watch for when a person is lying to you when
face-to-face: (Also make sure you don't do these things!)
Example of A Liar
In the top row two pictures, the actress is in a theater
scene where she is describing how much she loves a male character in the
play. During this time the two
actors were really in love in real life off-stage. In the first two pictures, the script words she is speaking
are very close to how she really feels about the other actor in real life. Her words are the truth about her
feelings. She is not lying. Here she is telling the truth and has
her normal smiling, open-eyed way of expressing a truthfully delightful
experience. However, shortly before the scene was re-shot for the third
time (bottom two pictures) the two actors had a big fight backstage. Therefore this time when she speaks her
script words about the play's character (the same as in the first pictures),
the words are untrue. She is lying
and her body language exposes her real feelings toward the actor now. The dramatic difference in body
language, especially her eyes and hands, reveals that she is lying. Compare the pictures taken before the break-up (top row) and
those after the break-up (bottom row).
In all pictures she is saying the same words in the play's script but
she is unaware of the differences in her body language. In the pictures below she is lying and
it shows in her very different mouth and eyes expression. When she talks about the guy she just
broke up with, her normal expressions change dramatically. Her hands are not as open either. Micro-Expressions
The easiest way to recognize a lie: a facial expression that
is incongruent with the expressed or implied feeling or preference. There is some truth to the idea that
people display or "leak" their genuine feelings when lying. But, these genuine displays of emotion
- called "micro expressions" - last only a fraction of a second. Micro-expressions are very telling
signs of true emotions. A liar is stressed during and shortly after a lie so body
language indicates stress. The
main thing that reveals a lie is a sudden change from the norm in expressions,
movements, and body language.
These internal responses may last a full minute or more—far longer
than the expressions themselves, which last no more than two or three
seconds. When people try to hide
their emotions, their expressions may flash for one-fifteenth to one-twentieth
of a second—just long enough for others to see them. This often is indicated by self-comforting gestures with the
hands such as rubbing the nose or scratching the face. Often the palms of the hands are
suddenly hidden from view.
One thing you have to take into account is a possibility of
a physical discomfort a person may experience in a situation in question. Because in this case the facial
expression will most certainly reflect the level of the physical
pain/discomfort and has nothing to do with any other feelings the person may or
may not have. In other words, if a
person seems not to feel well, forget about lie detection. There are several reasons why there is often an inconsistency between a faked feeling or
preference and a facial expression.
Tips
It's easy to spot a confident person; they will make
prolonged eye contact and have a strong posture. If people laugh
excessively, it may be dishonest, or they just might be very naturally jovial,
or just happy. Use your best
judgment. Some people laugh out of
nervousness. Don't isolate yourself by constantly examining body language
when interacting with people.
Otherwise, there is no reason to gain a social upper hand anyway. This is paralysis by analysis. Watch the face, it will usually give off a quick involuntary
and sometimes subconscious twitch when something happens that irritates,
excites, or amuses them. Mimicking your actions means that the person is comfortable
around you. Try judging the person as a whole and not purely based on
their body language, as it isn't always accurate. Just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs
does not mean they are lying. The
above behaviors should be compared to a person's base (normal) behavior
whenever possible. The more you get to know someone, the
better you will become at recognizing their thinking style and the better you
will become at knowing when they may be straying from the truth. In the ordinary course of events, you
will see a consistent pattern of eye movements. If a person breaks their pattern, this may well suggest that
they are deviating from the truth, though they may not be lying
deliberately. To test the pattern
break, ask more questions to try and clarify whether the pattern break was
indeed an attempt to tell a lie. Some of the behaviors of a liar listed above also coincide
with those of an extremely shy person, who might not be lying at all. Some of the behaviors may also occur when somebody is very
concentrated on speaking (for example, when the topic is sophisticated or the
person is stressed). Botox or other plastic surgery may also interfere with
'tells' and give false positives. Some people may have reputations for lying; keep this in
mind, but don't let it mask your opinions all the time. You have to take it on a case-by-case
basis. Some people are extremely experienced or even professional
liars. He or she has told their
made up story so many times that they are actually believable, getting all
their days, dates and times down perfectly! Sometimes, you may need to simply
accept that you can't catch every lie all the time. If it can't be true, it probably isn't. For example, if you ask somebody
whether they broke your vase, and they say an elephant did it, they probably
aren't telling the truth. Warnings
Unfortunately, there are always exceptions. Some people's body language cues are
not a representation of how they feel.
This is where your instincts must decide. There are wide cultural differences, so body language will
differ in other countries. Some people know how to control their body and are able to
project false, misleading signs, such as thieves, actors, or other good liars. Be careful of how often you appraise others'
truthfulness. If you are always
looking for lies, people may avoid you.
Remember that eye contact is considered rude in some cultures, so this may
explain why they are reluctant to look at you in the eye consistently. Some people with developmental disabilities like Autism or
Asperger's syndrome are very reluctant to make eye contact or do not make eye
contact at all. This is a trait of
the Autism spectrum and not a sign of dishonesty. Also, some people like to stare at you eye-to-eye. Forcing a smile
is often just an attempt to be polite; don't take this personally. If someone fakes a smile for you, it can also mean that they
want to make a good impression on you because they value you as a person and
are showing respect. Someone who is deaf, or hard-of-hearing, may need to watch
your mouth instead of your eyes, in order to lip read or better understand what
you are saying. Liars Are Normally Under Stress.
The first thing to make clear is that body language and
facial expressions are good indicators of when a person is lying but the
indicators are not foolproof. Periodically everyone tells 'little fibs'. To detect lying, watch for signs of stress in body language
and facial expressions. Stress may
not show up if the person really wishes the facts were as described or they can
rationalize that their story really should be as described. They delay a few seconds longer when
answering a question with an answer that is not truthful. Truthful answers come sooner than
untrue answers. appearance, this is a very genuine sign that they are
interested in you. How to Detect Lies
Watching facial expressions in order to determine whether a
person is lying might just save you from being a victim of fraud, or it could
help you figure out when somebody's being genuine. Jury analysts do this when assisting in jury selection. The police do this during an
interrogation. You have to learn
the little facial and body
expressions that can help you distinguish a lie from the
truth.
Steps
Learn to recognize deflections. Usually when people are lying, they will tell stories that
are true but are deliberately aimed at not answering the question you
asked. If a person responds to the
question "Did you ever hit your wife?" with an answer such as "I
love my wife, why would I do that?",
the suspect is technically telling a truth, but they are avoiding answering
your original question, which usually means they're lying. Notice the behavior of other body parts. Watch their hands, arms and legs, which
tend to be limited, stiff, and self-directed when the person is lying. Their hands may touch their face, ear,
or the back of the neck. These
are, however, a sign of nervousness, not a sign of deceit. They might not necessarily be nervous
because they're lying. Look out for microexpressions. Microexpressions are facial expressions that flash on a
person's face for a fraction of a second and reveal the person's true emotion
underneath their facade. Some
people may be naturally sensitive to them, but almost anybody can easily train
to be able to detect microexpressions.
Typically, in a person who is lying, their microexpression will exhibit
the emotion of distress, characterized by the eyebrows being draw upwards towards the middle of the
forehead (sometimes causing short lines to appear across the forehead skin). Check for sweating.
People tend to sweat more when they lie. (However, some people may sweat a lot more during
nervousness/shyness.) Mind exaggerated details. See if they are telling you too much, like "My mom is
living in France, isn't it nice there? Don't you like the Eiffel tower? It's so
clean there." Too many details may tip you off to their desperation to get
you to believe them. Notice the person's eye movements. Contrary to popular belief, a liar does not always avoid eye contact. Humans naturally break eye contact and
look at non-moving objects to help them focus and remember. Liars may deliberately make eye contact
to seem more sincere. Be Aware of Their Emotional Responses
Timing and duration tends to be off when someone is
lying. Emotions can be delayed,
remain longer than usual, then stop suddenly. Likewise, they might not match appropriately with verbal
statements. And, as with smiling,
facial expressions of a poor liar will be limited to the mouth area. Pay close attention to the person's reaction to your
questions. A liar will often feel
uncomfortable and turn their head or body away, or even subconsciously put an
object between the two of you.
Also, while an innocent person would go on the offensive (usually
responding with anger, which will usually be revealed in a micro-expression
directly after you say you don't believe them), a guilty person will often go
immediately on the defensive (usually by saying something to reassure their
facts, such as deflections). Listen
for a subtle delay in responses to questions. An honest answer comes quickly from memory. Lies require a quick mental review of
what they have told others to avoid inconsistency and to make up new details as
needed. There is, however, when
people look up to remember things, it does not necessarily mean that they are
lying. Be conscious of their usage of words. Verbal expression can give many clues
as to whether a person is lying, such as
If they're lying, they will become uncomfortable if you
stare at them for a while with a look of disbelief. If they're telling the truth, they will usually become angry
or just frustrated (lips pressed together, brows down, upper eyelid tensed and
pulled down to glare). Change the subject quickly. While an innocent person would be confused by the sudden
shift in the conversation and may try to return to the previous subject, a liar
will be relieved and welcome the change.
You may see the person become more relaxed and less defensive. Watch his or her throat. A person may constantly be either trying to lubricate their
throat when he/she lies by swallowing or clearing their throat to relieve the
tension built up. A person's voice
can also be a good lie indicator; they may suddenly start talking faster or
slower than normal, or their tension may result in a higher-pitched speaking
tone. Lying Is Not Easy
Another thing to watch for to detect lying is a sudden
change in movements. The liar
tends to shut down and tries to maintain control of the situation and in so
doing becomes quieter and stops normal body movements until you have accepted
the lie. A liar may leave out
pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone.
This heighten tension may cause the eyes to increase blink rate
also. Any spoken words during and
immediately after the lie will come harder and there may be more than normal
mispronunciations and stutters.
The liar is more defensive than usual and also may place objects (cups,
keys, pencils, chairs etc.) between self and others. Since tension is high in liars, they need some
self-comforting. They stroke their
hair and touch their face more frequently and harder than usual. Scratching and rubbing their nose is
common in liars but don't accuse all nose-rubbers of being liars! The best
overall liar detection clue is a sudden change in posture and movements from
the normal patterns for a short time until you have accepted what is said. If you believe someone is lying, change
the subject quickly and watch their reactions. A liar will follow along willingly and become more
relaxed. The guilty wants the
subject changed but an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change and
will want to go back to the previous subject. How To Detect Lying and Deception by a Romantic Partner
Most people want to know how to catch a liar. So, it should come as no surprise that decades of research
has been done on this subject. And many of the findings uncovered actually run counter to
what most people believe. Nonverbal Signs of Lying
Nonverbal cues identified represent "on average"
what might happen when studying many individuals rather than identifying what
any specific individual is likely to do.
Most of the research on the nonverbal signs of lying is driven by the
belief that deception is difficult to conceal because
When Lying People Are More Likely To
What Mistakes Do People Make When Trying to Detect Deception?
Asking "probing" questions actually makes it more
difficult to determine if the truth is being told. Questions such as What? Really? Are you sure? How did that happen? Accidental Discovery: Monitoring a Spouse
In most cases, deception and infidelity are uncovered by
mistake. A husband or wife decides
to come home from work early, a third party inadvertently reveals the truth, an
unpaid parking ticket reveals a spouse's true whereabouts, an e-mail exchange
is accidentally sent to the wrong person, and so on. Surveillance, by comparison, is an attempt to discover the
truth by monitoring a spouse's behavior.
If you're dealing with a lying and/or cheating spouse, some type of
surveillance is almost always needed. Practical Tips for Catching Lying and Cheating
Keep a journal of your spouse's reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places,
other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what's
said with phone bills, credit card statements, atm withdrawals, talk to other
people, etc. A cheating spouse is
likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record
of everything is critical. Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the time and number of all
calls. Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected
times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home
early, etc. Keep track of your spouse's mileage, receipts, credit card
statements, atm withdrawals, phone records, etc. If you can, check your spouse's call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone
calls. Keep in mind that cheating
spouses often store their lover's phone number under someone else's name: a
friend, a co-worker, etc. You can also purchase surveillance equipment (hidden cameras and voice activated recorders) or download computer monitoring software (keylogger) which will make it easier for you to monitor your spouse's activities. Using such equipment can, however, can raise some legal issues. Never confront your spouse until you're certain that you
have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence
at once. Most cheating spouses
will try to concoct a story to fit the evidence presented. But, if you withhold some evidence, and
let your spouse create a story, it gives you the opportunity to use the
remaining evidence as leverage.
And by strategically withholding evidence, your spouse will start to
question exactly how much you know, increasing the odds that he or she will
tell you the truth. Overall, if you find anything suspicious, do not confront
your spouse until you're certain that you have enough evidence to get a
confession.
And again,
think for a minute about how your spouse might try to dismiss your
accusations. If you can anticipate
how your spouse is likely to respond, you can try to gather the evidence you
need to counter what he or she says.
Finally, listed below are several more techniques,
products, and services designed to help you catch a lying and cheating spouse. Resources and Information for Catching a Lying, Cheating Husband or Wife
Computer
Monitoring Software - allows you to see everything your spouse does
online. Establish a record of all
online activities. GPS Tracking
Devices - purchase a global positioning satellite device that can
track a vehicle's exact location 24 hours a day. Home
Surveillance Equipment - hidden cameras and voice activated
recording devices can be purchased in every shape and size imaginable. Comprehensive
Background Checks - do you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is
lying to you about the past? A
background check can reveal a lot about a person's past. Private
Investigators - hiring a licensed investigator is the quickest and
most effective way to discover the truth. In most cases, the options listed above are very effective
when trying to discover the truth about a cheating spouse. |
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If
an expressed or implied feeling/preference is in conflict with the facial
expression the facial expression is the one almost certainly showing the true
emotion.
The
one exception to the rule of incongruent facial expression is a smile.